Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
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i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
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If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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