why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize