And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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