I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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