is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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