dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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