im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize