Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
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I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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