maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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