I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
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So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
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I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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