I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize