wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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