He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize