I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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