Where is the hickey?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The air taste purple.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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