shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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