Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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