Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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