The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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