rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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