Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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