So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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