I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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