Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
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Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
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He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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