This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Did I show you my penis last night?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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