??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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