I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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