you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
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To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
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I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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