I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize