im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize