You really coming over, don't trick.
I cockslap morals
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I smell like Dick and happiness
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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