All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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