I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize