So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
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He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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