I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize