Can i not drive my cunt home
wanna go halves on a baby?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't deserve a penis
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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