FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize