dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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