I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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