He told me they were just razor bumps!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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