watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
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