During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
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I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
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Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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