My underwear smells like fireworks.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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