Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize