Got a toothbrush?
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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