you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
not ubering you a puppy
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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