I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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