I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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