The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
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