Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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